Brisbane | Gold Coast

Hello Horoscopes

A light touch of what’s in store for you this month

Hello Horoscopes

If only life had a crystal ball or a handbook or even a magic 8 ball would do the trick sometimes. The best guide is fun and laughter. Everybody’s entitled to a bit of help though, and like Will.i.am, I’ve got a feeling… Get ready, life’s a wild ride.

ARIES [21 MAR – 19 APR]

This month watch out for those ram-like tendencies. They will act up and you’ll go running head-first into things as your passion is fuelled. Try to avoid the walls and any oncoming traffic as you do so. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. You may find some scrapes and bruises in your future. Our advice? We recommend keeping a clear path when you go outside. Maybe stay indoors and have a PJ play day. On the bright side, your passion is bright so make sure you have your good shades handy.

TAURUS [20 APR – 20 MAY]

Those emotional ups and downs are still there and may cause some conflict. Try setting up an Iron Throne in your living room, get some popcorn and enjoy it while it lasts. Maybe try aiming the conflicts towards something useful, like your friend’s ex. Sit back and watch their world burn as you and your bestie pour a wine and enjoy the battle of the bastards you just caused. Even better, we see a strong hold on friendship this month.

GEMINI [21 MAY – 20 JUN]

The twins. Careful which one you let control you or you might find yourself spinning around the neighbourhood looking like Jim Carrey in The Mask. Best just to embrace it. In a flash and a flurry, there’s always a chance you could save somebody’s life in a whirlwind of colour, or in the very least you’ll look sssssmokin’. 97% chance of cocktail this week, with a massive side of adventure. Expect a hangover the size of Africa. An Irish coffee might do just the trick in the morning.

CANCER [21 JUN – 22 JUL]

Get ready to bust out the moves like Jagger this week, or perhaps your Amy Santiago happy dances. That fun weekend you’ve been wanting is just around the corner with a high chance of vodka. Now it’s time to get funky and cha cha real smooth. Expect a short trip to hell in the morning, and we’re not talking about the drink this time. But trust us, it’s totally worth it. All’s fair in love and war and all that jazz. And speaking of love, this month you’re in for a swingin’ time.

LEO [23 JUL – 2 AUG]

Second star to the right? More like second shot of the night. You know what? Make it straight on till morning too. Take the time to go out with the other Lost Boys and Girls in your life and let loose. You know that saying, ‘forever young’ isn’t going to last forever, so our advice, live it up while the stars are bright. Shining down on finances this month, so keep your eye out for shameless luxuries.

VIRGO [23 AUG – 22 SEP]

Life is too short for all work and no play. There’s a good chance this month has some cloudiness, but there’s no point crying over spilt milk (or coffee). Look at the bright side there’s always chocolate, cookies and clarity. Sometimes you have to sort through the dirt to find the diamond. It’s called fun hun, don’t take it personally. We recommend vitamin sea, sand and cider for a clean-cut weekend to buff up your brilliance.

LIBRA [23 SEP – 22 OCT]

Down the rabbit hole and into the frying pan. Okay yeah, we’re mixing our metaphors here but expect a visit from the Mad Hatter this month, with a side of scrambled eggs. Indecision is the flavour of the month. That seesaw at the park is looking like the best of fun at any tea party. But heed caution in chasing white rabbits, being led down a garden path can end in broken teacups. Chances of a Wonderland romance, but remember you’re the queen of your own heart, so stand your ground and wear your crown.

SCORPIO [23 OCT – 21 NOV]

Time to try something out of your comfort zone this month. It might feel risky, we know, but we would recommend buying that piece of land you’ve been eying on the monopoly board. That’s right, time to dream big and expand your goals. You might have to fight for it, but dayum, you’re channelling Harvey Spector like the #boss you are. While doing the dirty deeds this month, check your pockets or the washing machine, white linen isn’t all you’ll find. You might be landing on free parking or a chance past Go.

SAGITTARIUS [22 NOV – 21 DEC]

Do you like Pina Coladas? How about getting caught in the rain? Well, chances are one out of the two will happen this week. Our advice: change that 50% to 100% and go for the Pina Colada anyway. Take an umbrella and your dancing shoes and plan your escape. If you’re going to be caught in the rain may as well have fun with it. Leave the boring life behind, get out of strife. Be the dancing queen you were born to be and have the time of your life.

CAPRICORN [22 DEC – 19 JAN]

Put on your shiny red shoes and follow the yellow brick road. You may not be in Kansas anymore, but you’re on the path to your final destination. You may need to pick up your dog on the way or stop by the zoo to meet your lion. On the love front, there’s a chance you may even find the one who will give you a heart. We recommend avoiding any flying monkeys and ladies in dark capes as these won’t lead you to the emerald city. Career wise, dig deep for courage and use those shiny brains and you’ll conquer any wicked witch of the west.

AQUARIUS [20 JAN – 18 FEB]

It may be winter but you’re in for a hot night. Hot damn, you might need to call the police and fireman. Oh wait, they might just be part of the show. Time to unwind and have a good time. This month shed your PJs, leave Netflix behind, and let your hair down with a night on the town. Red is the flavour of the month, be it romance or heart, the cocktail of the month or the hottest shade of lipstick. Leave everyone green with envy as you rock their socks. Bring out your night owl and treat yo self.

PISCES [19 FEB – 20 MAR]

Grab your bag and strap on those shoes, it’s time to leave your hobbit hole this week. You know that restaurant you’ve been saying you’ll try? Or that new yoga class? Well, this week is as good as any. We recommend actually leaving the house first. Yes, yes, that takes effort, but remember one does not simply adventure vicariously. Watching Lord of the Rings doesn’t count. The world is waiting, so why not grab your sword, bow and axe, well maybe not that dramatic, and drag those hobbit friends with you?

When life gives you lemons, exchange them for grapes and make some wine. There's always a way to make something better, it might just be waiting around the corner. And if there are twists and turns along the way, just grab some shades and your friends and enjoy the ride.

About the Author

Alexa Willis

Alexa Willis

I’m a creative writer and film enthusiast at heart. Give me a good book or enthralling movie and I’m good to go. Better yet, put some paper and a pen in my path and I’m ready to take on the world. I love trying new things, whether it’s a new cafe around the corner, attending a film premier, checking out new markets or seeking the next new event or concert in the area. I’m enjoying the spoils of Gold Coast life currently, and ready to continue exploring, both locally and beyond, with my pen at the ready.